Kairi
by Stumblealot
Summary: How to piss off Kairi.
1. Chapter 1

Me: Thanks for all of your comments

Roxas: hey has anyone seen Axel?

Me: Hehe um I mean...we won't be seeing Axel until the next chapter

Roxas: Why?

Me: Let's just say I'm giving him his punishment

Xigbar: Wow your pure evil

Me: Of course I am. Anyway here is how to piss off Kairi. Oh I also hate Kairi so there is going to be some nasty stuff about her.

Xigbar: I still think your evil

* * *

1. Replace Kairi's shampoo with glue

2. Die her hair black

3. Watch her scream

4. When Kairi is sleeping replace her make up kit with goth make up

5. Once she has put on the make up watch her scream

6. Go to Kairi with Sora and say "Oh my Kairi I never knew you where goth. Can I see your cuts?"

7. Get a big electrical fan and aim it at Kairi's short dress (or skirt whatever it is) and turn it on (Before you do make sure it is infront of someone like Ansem or Malificent)

8. Watch her dress fly up

9. Watch her faint

10. Grab Selphine's clothes and scatter them across the room

11. Watch Kairi scream and try to clean up the mess

12. Bring Sora to Kairi's bedroom and watch him say "Oh. My. God. Kairi I knew you were a couple with Selphine"

13. Grab Sora and Riku and make them kiss each other (make sure Kairi is there)

14. Watch die on the inside then watch her bash up Riku

15. When Kairi is asleep leave half a paupo fruit on her table with a note saying "Kairi I love you can you eat this for me?" sighned Sora. Give the other half to Donald

16. When Kairi comes to you saying "Guess what? Sora and I shared a paupo fruit, isn't that amazing?" Explain to her it was Donlad who gave you the paupo fruit, also say he ate the other half

17. Watch Kairi beat up Donald with her pissy keyblade

19. Tell Kairi that Wakka said your a whore

20. Watch her bash up Wakka

21. Throw Kairi into a pool filled with Kairi haters/ Sora lovers

22. Watch her get bashed

23. Watch Sora trying to save Kairi

24. Watch fangirls kiss Sora

25. watch Kairi bash then with Saix's Claymore

26. Last but not least when Kairi is asleep tie her hair to a horse and watch the horse drag Kairi around Destiny Island

* * *

Me: BWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Xigbar: Ok....I think I heard Xemnas calling me I guess I better get going

Me: Oh no you don't *Grabs Xigbar* Do you want you have the same punishment like Axel's? *Axel come's through the door in his boxers covered with little scar's*

Axel: Help me *Marluxia comes in*

Marluxia: Hey we haven't finished playing our game *Grabs Axel and takes him away*

Axel: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Roxas: ............

Xigbar: OH MY GOD!!!

Me: Ummm......hope you enjoyed the story so.....please review


	2. Riku

Me: Yesssssssssss my favourite character *hugs Riku doll*

Xigbar: Wow you really like him

Me: Who doesn't?

Axel: *twiches*

Roxas: You Ok?

Axel: Yes....I'm....I'm..f..f..fine

Roxas: I feel so so sorry for you

Me: Well that's what he gets for buring my stuff. Anyway how to Piss off Riku

* * *

1. Tell him he has girly hair

2. Give him half a paupo fruit with a note saying "Take it Riku and together we will rule the world" signed Ansem

3. Watch him beat Ansem to death

4. Replace Riku's shampoo bottle with BBQ sauce

5. Watch him scream

6. Video him getting dressed, then blackmail him

7. When Riku is in Ansem form tell him "OH MY GOD!!! YOUR THE PEDOFILE!!"

8. Throw him into a room full of fangirls

9. Watch him get raped by fangirls

10. Push Riku onto Malifecent (I think that's how you spell her name) and scream "MY EYE'S THEY BURN!"

11. Just before Riku get's taken over by Ansem release the fangirls

12. Watch them kill Ansem and rape Riku again

13. Grab his keyblade and say "Look it's a batman's keyblade. Where did you get it?"

14. Ok now this is tourcher. Go into Ansem's room and cover it in rose petals, candles, chocolates and put on some music (make sure there is a video camera somewhere hidden in the room). Then tell Ansem someone's burning his room, Tell Riku that Kairi has been kidnapped in Ansem's bedroom.

15. Once they are in the bedroom watch them try to kill each other, then put it on Youtube

16. Pull Riku's pant's down XD

17. Grab Sora's Keyblade and poke Riku with it and say "I am the keyblade master fear me"

18. When Riku is in darkness form say "Why are you wearing a grass skirt?"

19. When Riku is in bed (In his boxers XD) open the door and let the fangirls in

20. Watch Riku get raped the third time

21. When Riku is wearing his blind fold take him to a cliff (With fangirls waiting down at the bottom) tell him to take three step forwards, then tell him to jump.

22. Once Riku has fallen watch him get raped by fangirls

23. Show him DeviantART pictures of him and Sora (Don't forget Ansem XD)

24. Watch him scream in terror

25. When Riku is still in his blind fold quietly take him to King Mickey's room, and tell him it's his bed (Make sure Mickey is in the bed as well)

26. In the morning watch them scream in terror

* * *

Me: LOLOLOLOLOLOL

Roxas: I think you should go and apologies to Axel

Me: Fine *Walks up to Axel*

Me: Axel I'm sorry can we be friends again?

Axel: I don't know....

Me: I'll give you a cookie *Holds up cookie*

Axel: Cookie!!! *Grabs cookie and eats it*

Xigbar: And they lived happily ever after THE END

Me: ...........Anyway hope you enjoyed this chapter and please REVIEW!!!!


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